" Money Reiki "

Focus on the image and repeat

I now connect to the spiritual energy of money.

I fill myself up with love. I fill money up with love.

I give and receive love. I give and receive money.

Money now serves my highest good and the highest good of all.

" You Just Can't Nemo "

As I age I realise that I still let so much of my parent's beliefs dictate to me. I am four years away from being forty and yet I still allow myself to live with the spectre of what my parents think hang over me.

Personally I think this sucks.

I respect my parents on the whole, but I don't think I should always put their beliefs first, but I do.

For example, I have had tattoos for 18 years. Do you know how many times I have left them uncovered in front of them....? Go on guess ! Yes, you're right. Never ! I don't want to upset them. I have six of them for god's sake.

Also, when I had all my hair chopped off, I was worried what my mother would think. I almost didn't want to go there in case she didn't like it.

And that's pretty much how it goes really, with everything. I am getting better and standing up for myself, but there is no way I am where I want to be. I totally believe in myself...and yet.....and yet...my siblings are the same too...aren't you Duncan ?

" In The Bleak Midwinter "

Jeepers it's cold today. Winter hath revisited ! Yesterday I was hailed upon by icy spheres from the sky. Weather...I love it.

The other day there was a strange gnawing sound coming from Morgaine's bedroom. So Ify and I went into her den and under her bunk was our delightful ( feral when he wants to be ) marbled cat-boy Scout, chewing away on half a dead kangaroo.

He growls like a lion when he eats, probably as a result of being deprived as a kitten before he came to us. So we chased him out of Morgaine's room. I was horrified, being a mother and all and imagining dead giblets in her soft bed, and Ify had to chase Scout around the house, in true comical fashion, wearing leather gloves in an attempt to catch him.

Eventually grabbing the back half of the kangaroo ( the bit Scout had brought in ) he lifted both cat and demi-cadaver ( sounds like an actress I know ) into the air and expelled both from our house.

I was running around with disinfectant and a cloth shortly thereafter.

The next day Ify took the top of his finger off on a can of catfood, so perhaps the cat-spirit was paying him back. Damn felines ! You gotta love 'em.

" Feels damn odd "

I am not working today, no relief teaching around and whilst I have no problem with this, it does feel strangely odd. I got up early just in case, but didn't have to work after all, and now I am home, doing my own thing and I feel so free and emancipated. I like it. I like it a lot. Too much perhaps.

I had another pole dancing lesson last night. I am still loving it. It is a lot of fun and so much effort that you really do get a work out. I feel like I am getting somewhere with it, and can't wait to get my own pole, so I can listen to some of my own music whilst I work out. I am not a Kylie/gangsta rap/sample type music fan, and whilst it is appropriate music to work to, it isn't my taste,

The teacher is amazing.

She is self taught and so calmly confident with what she is doing. She breaks it down for mere mortals like me, who aren't the most sure-footed, I couldn't recommend her highly enough.

Suffice to say I am going to go on to the next level with her.

I have a fantasy about me doing my routine to " Matinee Idol " by Rufus, in my mind I can imagine the strut, the twist things, the pole sitting. However for this to become a reality, I will need to work on my pole sitting, for as of this moment, all I do is hang on for dear life and then slide down, unceremoniously.

Elegant ? Perhaps not !

The Local- Gwendolyn Bounds

Yet another great book. After the events of 9/11, the author, a Manhatten-ite moves out to a more rural area and finds the small pub/store and Irish family within, many colourful locals and a new place to call home. I am enjoying it !

See more progress on: read at least one quality book a week

Jon Katz- Running to the Mountain

Yes, another fantastic book. I so related to his need to get away but to also be part of the bigger world too. To find the balance between a monastic like existence and a technological existence is a tricky one, one I am constantly questioning. I loved how he wrote, his story was interesting, and I found him to be a fine non-fictional author. I will read more of his stuff. Thanks Jon, your book rocked. I would love to have a little cabin house atop a mountain too…

See more progress on: read at least one quality book a week

Ratatouille

We went to the movies on Friday night, Ifan, Morgaine and myself and we went to see Pixar’s latest creation. I love Pixar. I quite enjoyed this film, but what was evident was that Disney had a far more heavy hand in the character creation than John Lassiter…the characters were less Pixar and more Disney, I swear Colette has essence of Pocahontas in her make up. But nonetheless it was enjoyable, even if not up to the standard of Nemo and Toy Story.

Morgaine began to cry when Ratatouille was separated from his father, and we had to assure her it would work out all right. She kept whispering ” but he’s all on his own ”.

It was a great family night. Anytime I get to eat Morty’s noodles is a good night.

See more progress on: blog more often

On Your Back Step

Today’s fitness took the style of a rainforest walk. I forget that we have Notley Fern Gorge on our doorstep ( well ten minutes away )that we can visit with total ease. I was puffing pitifully by the end but what I really enjoyed was the silence and stillness and the occasional babbling brook sound. I felt like I was in the middle of a meditation mp3 on my ipod. I will be back at work tomorrow so there I will be back to my morning routine with walking, and to be honest I look forward to that. I have flu symptoms today however and feel extremely ordinary, oh well,
I ‘ll just tell it to go away,

See more progress on: Exercise at least five times a week

First You Shave Your Head

Loved it ! 10/10. Geraldine A Larkin, a Zen monk from the US and three others make a pilgrimage to Korea. Infused with Buddhist wisdom, history and diary entries…even gives you a tongue in cheek look at how to make your tea ceremony last three hours without giving the impression you are a little bored. So good, I went and bought three more of her books from Amazon.

See more progress on: read at least one quality book a week

What are the Four Agreements ? Cos I want to live them !

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

See more progress on: live the four agreements

Tea Here Now by Donna Fellman and Lhasha Tizer

I wanted to love this book, I did love the cover and the style. But the content seemed to say the same thing over and over again. I was very bored by it, but as I have this silly rule that once I get well into a book I have to finish it, I did so. I didn’t feel an ambience or anything from it at all. Disappointing.

See more progress on: read at least one quality book a week

This is YOUR life....

We are always getting ready to live, but never living.

How true is this ? We are always thinking ” ooh when I ” or ” I can’t wait for ”, or ’ it’d be so much better if/when….” etc etc etc.

So take time today to simply observe what you are doing in the now, not what you should do in an hour, a day, a week…or perhaps try to do just one thing at once. Even as I type this, I am eating my breakfast, thinking about the cleaning I need to do…and so many times it crosses my mind that ” if only I …..” life would be right.

The truth is, life is perfect now. It is as it should be, the rought, the smooth, the downright annoying, it’s all as it is meant to be…so live now.

Oh and I will take a leaf out of my own preaching too, promise.

See more progress on: collect and contemplate inspirational quotes

Dancing in front of a lot of people dressed scarily

Aside from some walking, last night I had the pleasure of dancing at the Princess Theatre dressed as a very large person, in a fat suit, with a leopard skin cardy, tartan high boots and a black skirt. My make up was decidedly gothic, and I felt like I was 14 all over again ( at least make-up wise ). I was soooooo knackered after the dance finished (I didn’t do it alone, we were a troupe of mothers from the dance school ) and also the last act of the night. I was still puffing many minutes afterwards. It’s hard carrying all that fake foam fat around.

I will post the official picture once I purchase it from the dance shop in town.

See more progress on: Exercise at least five times a week

Still Life With Chickens

By Catherine Goldhammer. I am really enjoying this. The true story of a lady who after her divorce moves from a hooty-snooty area, to a ramshackle place by the sea with her 12 year old daughter. Chickens abound….brilliant.

See more progress on: read at least one quality book a week

Flatter tummy

So this is great. My stomach feels no bloat, I am very active in the elimination area, and I just feel so much cleaner already. The one thing I think doesn’t do me any favours, bloatwise is bread. I love bread, especially Beaconsfield bread, which is THE best bread you will ever find on the planet, even better than stuff from “Trader Joes” in the US. But, having eliminated it for the past couple of days, there is a noticeable difference with how the old gut feels.

See more progress on: lose 20 kilograms

Twisting round the pole

I have only had one lesson so far, and have two scheduled for next week. Last time I was so sore and for three days the soreness got worse, until ut became downright painful. It just went to show how, despite all my daily walking, I was not fit at all, not bendy, just creaky. Still that’s half the challenge isn’t it ? To move from one state to another, especially an improved one.

See more progress on: Learn how to be a great pole dancer

" Huw and the serendipitous carrots debacle ! "

We had decided to take our pony round to my parents house as he had begun to attack the new born lambs in our fields and the grass is not as abundant as we needed it to be. So I reigned our pony, Huw, and began to walk him round.

A little way between our place and my mum's, he decided to wrestle with me, set himself free and run off, at a strong gallop.

I was horrified. He took the skin off my arm when he escaped my grasp and his speed was....well immense. I had no idea what to do.

A lady and her teenage daughter stopped and as the daughter walked up to me, Huw came galloping past the other direction. At the same time, the local policewoman ( who is a man hating, never been kissed, the world sucks and I am going to make you suffer-Brunhilde type ) came by in her car and I thought " oh shit, this is it, I am going to cause a car crash and get done by the mealy mouthed copper". This didn't happen and I thought oh well, better walk back the way Huw had run ( which was luckily back towards our home ).

There were three people in the street pointing the direction he had gone, and another man came to his balcony and told me too, a car in our street stopped to let me know he had gone back towards home and as I reached our driveway a nice neighbour who was on her way to visit her own horse, had shooed him back into our place, with some serendipitous carrots.

I burst into tears with relief.

I then rung another neighbour and begged the use of their horse float.

Dammnit, this was not a fun day...but I did learn to drive a horse float.

The way it turned out was much more happier than it might have done, I have NO IDEA what I would have done if Huw had just taken off in another direction.

Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach

Ok I have read it lots of times, but just to break from the book I am currently reading, I did read this one last night. The way I feel about it changes every time I read it however. 8/10.

See more progress on: read at least one quality book a week

Raw Food Pie

Love Pie
A couple of days before you want to eat it, freeze a blended mix of sieved flax/almond milk, mango and ripe banana in a heart shaped cake tin lined with cling film. About half an hour before the meal is going to start, take the base out of the tin and put it on a plate.

Then place thin slices of strawberries on top, layered on each other like feathers.Take a strip of dried mango and cut it into really thin slithers and make a swirly pattern on top of the strawberries with it. The cream is made with soaked brazil nuts, normal dates or raw agave nectar, water and raw sunflower oil -- blended very heavily with a hand blender (wand).

Then you can add some young lemon balm leaves to the top of the heart,these are refreshing to eat in between mouthfuls.

See more progress on: collect healthy recipes and perhaps even make them

So today I visited www.literacysite.com..

... I have been looking for something wonderful for my friend who is to have a baby in December and I found something fabulous on www.literacysite.com ( this site helps to send books to children around the world who don’t have the same luxuries as us ).

So I thought, as I browsed that there is so much great stuff, and with free international shipping too, that I will always buy from such. The gift that gives twice.

I spent $60 and it meant I had sent five books to children who need them.

See more progress on: patronise ethical sites and companies when purchasing gifts for others

My current reading material for this week is:-

Shelter for the Spirit: Create Your Own Haven in a Hectic World by Victoria Moran 10/10 so far. Began it September 11.

See more progress on: read at least one quality book a week

What is the " simple Life " ?

I am sure this varies from person to person, my simple life might seem like a whole heap of drama for someone else. But in my world, a simpler life for me would be :-

a) more time to read

b) less urge to shop and buy things, clothes, take away coffee, small things that add up to a lot, that I pretend not to notice I buy.

c) more quality time with my family

d) less reliance on the outside world, such as no need to have a television, buy magazines, use mass produced things, no need for buying things I allow society to tell me I need.

e) more silence

f) more solitude

g) less internet time, maybe one hour a day maximum

e) no coffee in my world at all, but lots of green tea

f) time to sleep

There is more I am sure, but these are the first things I aim for in spending time doing less.

See more progress on: live the simple life

Kick Start Diet is up and running !

I have decided to help myself begin the loss of 20 kilos by doing the kick start diet. This includes a lot of soup, vegetables, fruit, a little beef and yoghourt for one week only. After this I can add a few other carbohydrates back into my diet.

Now call me quirky but having only eaten fruit so far on day one, I feel so much clearer already.

Many say I don’t need to lose so much, I am very tall, but I know this is what I wish to lose, I won’t be horribly skinny if I do, I don’t want that, I just want the body back I know I have under the extra layers.

I have often thought it is a good idea to give a reward when reaching small goals, but there’s really nothing I want so, this doesn’t actually work. The reward for me is to fit into my clothes.

See more progress on: lose 20 kilograms

I am good at this when working

This is easy for me to do when I am working, as I get up at 6am and get to work early enough for a good walk. However when I am on holidays, I don’t have the same discipline, so I need to work on this

See more progress on: Exercise at least five times a week

" I'm Sure Your God Would Be Very Proud "

Dear *midwyche*farm*,

you are going to be in deep stuff when you stand in fron of God if you are not carful ONLY God can heal someone and you old girl are not God.
you are a fake and just like satin you are a lier and a fraud and you will be cast in to hell with him in the end day if you don't change.
may God have mersey on your sould.

- easel_man

I received this charming little email through Ebay today, please see my thoughts below.

I am sure this person's God would be very proud....but tell me would it be

a) because of his excellent literacy skills

or

b) because of his tolerance and love for his fellow man

or

c) his ability to give me something hilarious to put on my blog at 6:50 am.

ANSWERS ON THE BACK OF A BURNING CROSS PLEASE !

PS I thought the Mersey was a river, but what would I know, I'm on my way to the fiery pit !

" My Smile A Trick "

My baby is four. Happy Birthday Morgaine, September 11, 2003 was the best day of my life..and I celebrate every day I have you. I listen to you singing in your bed, repeating words to a script verbatim and marvelling at your intelligence. You rock my world.

I am on holiday from work at the moment and am loving being at home. I don't care that as a relief teacher I don't get paid in the holidays, couldn't give a sh*t. I love the freedom that being a relief teacher gives me, I can make my money somewhere else.

Am full of cake right now after having my parents around for a birthday tea for Morgaine. She had a lovely day though I am not buying her anything until Christmas now, at the risk of spoiling her beyond redemption.

" Somewhere Over the Rainbow "

Sometimes there are days that are so...perfect. When you think about them afterwards they make your heart ache, they were so perfect...well our family has had two of them in a row and it's so special.

Yesterday we had Morgaine's birthday party. It's not her birthday until Tuesday, September the 11th, but we wanted it on a weekend as this is most convenient for families.

We had it at TRESCA, a local community centre with a lovely park there. All Morgaine's gorgeous friends came and their parents too ( all equally lovely ), my mum did the food and Ifan the face painting. I ran the games and organised everyone to come. it was so simple, and so lovely. My heart ached as all the lovely children played so nicely. One of the little boys I have a super soft spot for just loves Morgaine and wants to kiss and cuddle her so gentleman-like.

Her cake was Marlin and Dory cake and her face was so excited when it came out all candled up. We played Justine music, and had a wonderful time. Providing wine for the parents was a good move too and something to think about in future.

Everyone seemed to genuinely enjoy it, and Ifan and I talked a lot about it afterward. Now I am sure you know how unsocial we both are,,,and yet it was ace.

Today I took M out to Evandale to see her cousins and Aunty, we met Ifan there with his scooter mates who had been for a run out on their motors too. The weather was holiday like, we ate ice-cream and onion rings and I felt as free as a bird. Morgaine is so tired today, after all the excitement of yesterday, but she is happy and this is all that matters to us. Ifan is happy and this is all that matters to me...and I am feeling great.

On another positive note, Ifan has just hung his first lot of photos in a local restaurant and within 5 minutes he had sold two to a Sydneysider with good taste. He is also going to do a wedding for a couple of scooter enthusiasts that he knows. He didn't want to do weddings really, but this couple are up for something a bit unusual and special, not the usual meringue-style set-up, so he said yes to them. He is a very talented boy and I know he will do well with his photography work.

" RIP talented man "

" Deep Down I'm Shallow LIke You "

Sometimes it bothers me how shallow I think I am. It is a weird, weird thing, self-perception. For some reason everyone else thinks I am quite exciting and interesting, and I do not know why.

I know we are each our own most fiercest critic, but honestly, most of the time I feel about as deep as an ant's footprint.

I read a lot, have lots of opinions, like my life, enjoy all the things I do. So it's nothing to do with that.

I don't wish I was anywhere else, or somebody else, I am deeply satisfied with my lot in life, happy with the choices I make...and yet...and yet...spiritually and in my own head, I don't feel like I am anything but a vague guest on a darkened earth at times.

I do not understand, is it a case of Paradise syndrome, where life is great, everything is as I would like it to be, so I am not challenged enough ? I just feel like there is so much more that is inside me, yet I am not extrapolating it...and yet I live in perfect happiness..weird !

" This Love Affair "

This might very well be the most beautiful famous person in the world...no in fact, he is !

" no I didn't have home made clothes "

I had my first pole dancing lesson last night....and I love it !

This morning I am a little stiff, but kind of nicely so, if you know what I mean.

I think I could really get into this you know. I have no wish to be a stripper or anything like that, but I do have a wish to be fit and healthy with a modicum of upper body strength.

I walk every day, but need something more weight bearing on my upper body. It does give you a work out and I could tell because I was sweating a lot, even so much so I could feel it running down my spine over my tramp stamps in torrents. I may not be a high heel girl in silver hotpants, but I can do this.

" Oh what a shame that your pockets did bleed on St Valentine's "

I have created a new web page that is strictly for selling ebooks and that will then pass on any monies to charity. I am dedicated to helping others, through others as well as myself. If you don't have 0.99 cents to spare on buying an ebook, you can go to my site and request a FREE one instead. The only thing I ask you to pay back then is by doing a good deed. I will add new ebooks, both for 0.99c and FREE as often as I have time.

If you are able to pass the link onto anyone else who might gain something from either a FREE ebook or one for 0.99 cents, then please do.

I am so fed up of going to ebook sites that are all colourful bells and whistles, telling me how I can make enough money for a Porsche ( urgh ) or a big home in the UK, when all I want to do is send money to help others...so if you would like a FREE ebook or like to donate 0.99 cents via paypal to help a good cause, then please do so. Even sending the link to others will help.

The address is http://www.midwyche-ebooks.weebly.com it is also located in the side bar as a direct link too.

Many thanks

" No regrets Girls ..."

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Belinda Emmet
(written after she found out she was dying from cancer).

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

" Cal-ifor-nia pleeeeeeaaassse "

However....by the same token...

I still sing in front of a mirror with a deodorant as the microphone.

" and my new grandma Bea Arthurs.... "

I am not cool.

I don't wish to be cool.

When I wear a tiny tee my tummy flops out.

I am not 21 anymore-thank god.

I don't know who is in the music charts..and if I hear any of it, chances are I won't warm to it.

I don't read fashion magazines or gossip magazines ( though I do peep in the supermarket ).

I don't drink or smoke or watch television....

I am cynical.

I wear what feels comfortable and if that means generous undies, then so be it, if it means Ifan's green parka, then so be it...

I can say "no" now.

I also do the things I want to do, not the things someone tells me I should.

I do not regret the past, I laugh about it or thank the universe for it.

I know I have been a horror at times in my life, but I don't berate myself for this, I accept this was what I was at that time and have moved on.

I love an early night with a book, this is my idea of fun.

I do not have a wide circle of mates and neither do I want this.

I accept that many frogs had to be set free to get where I am now and am glad I chose to emancipate them all.

Thank god I'm in my thirties.

" Eating The Apple To the Chapel "

Life seems like one great big whirl at the moment, it is all good though.

Sitting here in a baseball top and a towel wrapped around my waist, Morgaine is singing in the background, Ifan is opposite me in the office with a " Carry On " movie playing on his Mac. All is where it ought to be.

Feeling like I should go to bed and read. My pile of books never diminishes and I still read every night. I remember as a child, I would sit in my bedroom and read for full days, stopping only to go to the toilet. I miss that, I always feel like I need to be doing something else when I am reading...except recently when I remember to breathe and think only of the moment. More work in this area would be good.

On a different tack, an old mistake of mine has begun to work at my place of work on a casual basis. When my boss ( who lived the whole pitiful saga with me 10 years ago ) told me, she said " will you be alright that he's here ". Honestly, I replied " Who are you talking about ? " . I honestly couldn't remember who he was for a little while.

I have not been my most fabulous self either, and have had a little chuckle to myself that he has seriously aged ( though I know I am NOT Peter Pan either ). He is seventeen years my senior so he isn't far off a pension ! He is not cute, I can't even see how I ever thought he was, he seems like some grown up who I wouldn't notice in a pink fit. Then again, I don't think I gave a damn about him at the time either, was simply seeking a new experience. Isn't that what 25 is all about ?

Thank goddess life moves on.

" I Had No Radio Show "

I have been working hard on my website for my celebrancy work today, I was pretty pleased actually, 'cause I sent Ifan the link and he went to it. When I got home he said " Who did that for you ? You kept that quiet " and I was able to say, " I did ". I was proud indeed.

I am boring tonight though and am off to do mumsy things !

" Guess That Can Explain The Rain, Waiting Walking Game "

Feeling pleased with myself. Have finished all my video recordings for my celebrancy course ( funerals ) and in less that a week will have my certificate in this area. I will then proceed forth and hope to obtain some work, create a professional website and see how I go. All good stuff. I like to study and have taken on board a nationally recognised course in dealing with grief and trauma and managing grief and trauma. I just seem to like studying.

Have got two weeks holiday in four days time and have so much ebay stuff of a clothal nature to list, so much. I need to get rid of so many things that I don't have room for, so if you are an ebay fan, please check out the store. I am looking forward to the holidays, even though my work these days is so much less stressful.

I love the rain, and today has not disappointed me at all. It was lovely listening to it all day, still no lambs, lots of mud in the paddocks though !

" You May Ask Why I Want To Torch My Hometown "

I love listening to the sound of the trees soughing, when I do I feel very connected to the earth. Today, a quagmire of confused weather down here on the farm had me listening to the trees and then a moment later ducking for cover from the rain. I love Tasmania, I love that I live here. People still ask me if I miss old Blighty and I never ever answer in the affirmative. I think if you paid me, I wouldn't go back there. The more I see of the UK the more I know I am in the best most happiest place. Living on a farm, albeit a small one is the only place I want to be. I feel sorry for anyone who can't breath air that is healthy. This should be a fundamental right of every human being.

Looking forward to getting some pigs when we move. I have their names picked out already, Louden and Chester. Our lambs are due to be born tomorrow, and for the past week I have been wandering out every morning hoping to hear the babyish bleat of newborns, in case they came early, but alas, we are still waiting.

Once again, Ifan and I had the house to ourselves last night as we went out for tea and Morgaine stayed with grandma and grandpa. It was not as empty as last time she stayed away, but we do miss her so much. I am reading a great book at the moment ( and got time to read last night as I didn't have motherly duties to do ). It is called " 50 acres and a poodle ". I have a penchant for reading books about people who have made seachanges or something similar at the moment whilst I am on my downsizing quest. I am even drinking my tea out of a Cornishware mug right now because I feel like a country girl and I love being a country girl. That towny and city me that I spent so much energy on the past diminishes by the day...shops...yawn ! Loud noises....horrible.....traffic....heinous....the general public....not for me......vandals.....not my cup of tea, give me the soughing trees and darkness at night.