It's 1.42 am and I can't sleep, though I have tried.
I think I may be having an anxiety attack, which is not usual for me. I have been tossing and turning in bed, and I have been worrying about getting older, death, my family, all kinds of things. I am not a " dark of night worrier " usually, at all, and I don't know where these nightly fears have popped up from.
I feel a bit sick, have just had a biscuit and feel slightly better,
I feel rather pathetic, worrying about being 40 in 4 years time, but for some reason it is hanging around. I don't want to be a teenager, I am very supremely happy with my life and everything in it, I don't mind responsibility at all, but the anxiety is there.
I have even been thinking about the time when I left my ex-husband, which was the best thing I ever did, and I have no remorse about it, but I have been thinking ' How the hell did I get through it so easily, and wasn't it a shitty time ?"
I wonder what this is all about.
I am sure I will be my perky self in the morning, but right now I feel decidedly odd, dislocated and slightly depressed.
