And so tomorrow...a sort of new career

After six months of not teaching, tomorrow brings my first day back at the high school I work at. But this time, as a relief teacher. I feel somewhat sanguine about this prospect. I can leave at 3pm, I do not have to follow up on behaviour issues, no parent meetings, no late night PL. I will reiki all my shi* classes, and reiki all the good ones too.

I am going to make the best of this shift in my work, a combination of my beloved childcare and relief teaching. I am going to make it work for me and my family in the best way I can. The knowing that I can walk away, no strings attached, is a bonus.

Let's see what I feel like tomorrow night.

Today, a family day. A trip to town, a chicken dinner, a walk in the Gorge, a play in the park, over the swing bridge, a hot drink before we go home...a new kettle and tea set....life is great.

A State of Arrested Development

According to a source, I am coccooned in a place of late Victorian, early Edwardian romanticism. The way I speak sometimes, can be delightfully Dickensian, positively floral. I take this as high praise, especially as most of my favourite writers are writers of the classics. I love the style of this era, the manners, the interests.

My life is a perfect garden of beautiful dreams.

Please call me Cordelia,

SEV x

Just because !

" I make NO apologies for this "

One thing I can't stand, and make no apologies for, is when I see an adult smoking in a car, all windows up, WITH A CHILD INSIDE !

I see RED !

I am not a nice person, I don't feel like being a nice person, I become an angry and turbulent person, when I see this.

I have seen it many times, but this week was the worst.

A tiny child, under two, dad chuffing it away, windows tight shut....dammnit...I hate it. I know the child, she isn't a healthy baby...ha, I wonder why ! ?

To add insult to injury it was in the car park of a child care centre.

Adults, smoke away, I have no problem with you making this your choice, but for goddess sake, don't drag your children into your dangerous world, it is not fair. Most parents I know who smoke do the decent thing and go outdoors or away from their babes...but this man really got my goat. I swear I could've punched him...

There, me...peaceful old Sev, Buddheo-Wiccan....but no, there was no inner peace for me then !

But there is one thing worse than that...

I saw it in Launceston the other day...

PREGNANT AND SMOKING......... godd damn it, it should be a crime....it is tantamout to forcing your child into health problems and an early death. If these idiots were injecting drugs or smoking dope they'd be locked up, but smoking with a child growing inside them,,,,,oh no...this isn't a crime....well I think it is. If I had my way...I have no idea what I'd do, but I'd do something.....

Ok rant over, I feel better. I hope the children are alright.

PS When the law comes in about smoking in cars with children, I am going to be a proud DOBBER !

It's Hebrew, it's from the Talmud. It says, "Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire."

The power of a film can never be underestimated.

" Gay Messiah "

" Yum "

" Ave, Ave, History Is On my Side "

Things to do: go to bed early enough so working tomorrow doesn't hurt as much.

Get hair cut ( booked for Wednesday )

Look up some ideas for working with the littlies.

Sing.

Find a new singing teacher ( ask dance teacher, who happens to be a good singer if she knows anyone ).

Drink more water ( have been very slack recently, must be the cold weather ).

Be as supportive as I can to those I love.

Get a massage ( make the $2000 private health insurance shite work for me a bit more.

In which case, I need to go to the dentist too.

Write another ebook.

POst on blogs of those I treasure a bit more.

List more things on Ebay, I have a whole room of clothes to list, nice stuff too.

Keep up the positive thoughts and walk my talk some more.

Enjoy Rufus at any given oportunity.....ave verde...

" Grrrrrrrrrr"

Our beautiful daughter,

Artwork by Ifan x

" The Bell Rings for Inna "

Goddess of today, is Goddess Inna. She originates from Nigeria, and is " in charge " of harvests, fertility, justice and protection. The Nigerians will be just about celebrating the Yam festival as of now. Here offerings are made to the goddess Inna.

Put a further pagan slant on our dear Nigerian goddess by " Yam Divining ".

Cut a yam ( sweet potato ) in half long ways, throw both pieces in the air, whilst praying for insight. One piece up, one piece down is fortuitious, both for you and your circle.

Both facing the same way indicates that there is a lot of work to be done.

You may even put symbols of importance to you carved into the flesh in order to seek further guidance.

Here endeth the lesson.

" 7 seconds away "

I have had three very long days working at the day-care centre, and I love it.

Nice people, gorgeous children, a real reason to feel like going to work again.

This is a small place however, so will not share anything I know about it in relation to the kids there, other than to say, I feel very happy to be working with them. It is all the things I hoped teaching would be when I first began.

Am building up my repertoire of simple games and art activities too.

Back aches, but sort of nicely.

More later, I am very, very tired.

PLEASE NOTE "GAY" IS NOT A REFERENCE TO SEXUALITY....

Not in this case anyway. Gay is a reference to the head of GUNNS Limited ( John Gay ) who seems to be in cahoots with this man, old boys club, secret handshake, back handers and more....

Soon to be available from cafepress.com....I'll be leading the stampede !!

I will wear them with PRIDE !

" But Today I felt A Chill "

Am sat in my office working away quietly, hoping for inspiration to strike.....listening to Rufus and distracting myself from what I am supposed to be doing.

It was an icy morning, lovely white crisp grass....spoiled only by hearing the simpering John Howard's voice on TV saying that " despite having the worst floods and worst drought in history, global warming wasn't that bad. "

Who the hell voted for him ?

What could possibly possess this man to make such a stupid statement ? Perhaps the same energy that causes our local rag to state " hundreds of people turned up for the Pulp Mill rally ". I was there, hundreds don't cut it, try adding more zeros you stupid, provincial, corrupt and Gunns Infiltrated waste of paper.

I sound angry, I am not, I am sanguine, but one thing I am is incredulous.

How far have we really come ? Well may you ask Bernard Fanning ! I think, nay, know the answer to that..we haven't....

Despite the miseries

And the lessons learned from history

The pattern still repeats

Never to surrender don't you ever repeat

How far have we really come?

Until the ones who are leading us...John Howard a leader....s'cuse me whilst I die laughing !

Make peace their resolution tonight

Make peace your resolution tonight

There's an arms race to be run

Building bigger better dagger headed bombs

So let's drink to the daughters and sons

Never to return to their mother's arms

For every battle lost and won are these the ones that we offer up?

Get me to SODOR now please !

" It's not music anymore ( Rufus excepted ) it's a ring tone culture "

" Loved the show guys, but wasn't hearing the ringtone ". Yes this is a true statement heard by my man, in a dressing room recently with a band's A and R man from the record label. What bollocks !

And dear readers, that about sums it up for me. No longer is music important for the talent of the artist, no longer are we able to watch a show without hearing for example " Australia's Funniest Home Videos " ( which are shite btw and I don't watch but did catch briefly by mistake whilst looking for something else on ABC ) brought to you by " Coon Cheese " or " Sunrise Weather " brought to you by......INSERT NAME OF MULTINATIONAL COMPANY WITH NO SCRUPLES HERE....

I don't want to be part of a ringtone culture, where the ringtone is more important than the song, or where the film is written around the hype ( Shrek ) or the TV show is more advertising than substance.

When did we start making the publicity and sponsorship the deal and not the actual film/song/show/ etc......?

I dislike mobile phones and usually let mine run out of charge...but what I don't like even more is the ads with some poncey male voice on the TV aimed at young kids talking about the ringtone for only $9,000 000 per use with a monthly fee of $6 billion ( in tiny little letters ).

I have never watched ' Big Brother ' and never will. Reality TV ? No it isn't. Reality TV is about reality, " Big Brother ' to me is from a George Orwell book, not a silly show about a group of brattish spoiled people, who live together in a house in a totally UNREALISTIC way....Don't get me started on the cult of fame as seen in Australian Idol too...Commercial channel TV is banned in our house....occasionally I slip, but for the main I am able to stay away easily.

Ok kids, rant over...and if you do like 'BB', please don't be offended, as I speak only from my point of view.

Just had to put him in again....

It is official. I am a sad, almost 36 year old Buddheo-Wiccan who has a crush on a 34 year old gay Canadian Singer....I am too old to have a crush on a singer...but damn it I have. I shall post as many pictures as I need to, listen to the damn fine tunes over and over, and make no excuses for loving the whole " deal " that is this talented, excruciatingly gorgeous and fine man.

Fine hair, fine, fine, fine eyes....but looks aside, he is a talented singer and I love his work.

Can't wait to see him LIVE !! Thank goddess for connections and VIP passes ! At last, my boy's work has come in handy.

NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW

http://blackstonemyst.blogspot.com/ PLEASE DROP BY AND SAY ' HEY '.

Shrek 3, what can I say ? C-R-A-P !!! I did not enjoy it and felt it was America trying to make an animated action movie. I guess it's just not Pixar is it ?

" When it rains, let it rain "

Super disappointed today. Was set to go with the day care group to see " Shrek 3 ", but had to call in sick. Have some sort of insidious virus, stomach pain, head ache, total malaise. The only good thing was that I lolled about on the sofa all day, reading, watching " ATGB series 7 " and nodding off all the time.

But, I did not want to be sick and I certainly did not want to be sick a few weeks into my new work.

Have been having some super extreme feelings recently of depression and elation within a short period of time. Am watching myself as I don't want to end up on either extreme. Was in town yesterday, feeling great and all of a sudden "wham" I was hit with the " I feel like a** " feeling. Not good.

Still, just watched an old black and white with John Mills-Great Expectations, and it was fab.

Love lots, Abel Magwitch.

Thank you Sisters

I never fail to be surprised about the depth of cameraderie one can feel for cyber-sisters. I have had such wonderful support from many of late, none of which I have ever met in person, except my darling Michelle and the very talented SV-G.

My heart and mind was a raging torrent the other night and whether I over-reacted or not, I felt angry and make no apologies for this.

I can, and do frequently lose my rag, though am getting better at it, with right thought and right mind. But the support I received from many, reminded me of how we are all connected. Even the source of my anger, I am thankful for, because it was a reminder of what I hold dear and true.

So Toni, Anchelle, Dearest E, Gina, SharonVespaGirl and anyone else I may have overlooked, thank you.

To Michelle, my dearest neighbour, your e-mails are the grooviest thing in my inbox...

You read me at my least grown-up self and you cared.

As a wise woman once said, I am like a lioness....never a truer word was spoken !

A word to the wise.....

I have spread my dreams under your feet,

Tread softly because you tread on my dreams

W.B. Yeats

TAKE A STEP BACK !!!

HEY, PLEASE JUST TAKE A STEP BACK.

I DID THINK ABOUT LOADING MY CHAP'S BLOG AND SITE UP, KNOWING STRAIGHT AWAY IT WOULD GET REMARKS OF MISUNDERSTANDING, BUT FELT IT THE RIGHT THING TO DO.....I AM SETTING THE RECORD STRAIGHT HERE...MY HANDS HAVE NO CUFFS ON THEM....

First of all, please understand I am very happy where I am and with whom I am with.

I do not USUALLY put up any posts left by anonymous people. If you can't put your name to them, then I can't support them. Actually no, I'll change my mind and post it with my comments below !!!

My man's responses about dishwashers ARE A JOKE !!

This blog is my man's catharsis, look beyond what you see for goodness sake and realise that 44 years of frustration needs an outlet somewhere....if it offends you, then please, don't read it.

My aura is fine, there are no leakages or breaks in it whatsoever.

The fact that my boy has this catharsis, means he is soft and loving....god help us if he bottled it up !

Now please, put your name....at least stand by your words !

LEFT TONIGHT BY SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T HAVE A NAME !! I know you are a lovely person who cares, whoever you are, but I have this sort of ' blind spot ' when it comes to protecting my boy, I can't let anyone hurt him, and I don't want anyone to think he is one way, when I tell you, he is the most soft, little fluff, I ever knew... and to this end I will support and fight for him.

Posting.....

God, you are a brave woman dealing with that Severina. ( NO I AM NOT BRAVE, I AM HAPPY, LOVED, CONTENT AND PLEASED TO HAVE SUCH AN AMAZING PERSON IN MY LIFE )After reading his words, I understand his pain at being abused, but to spill such hate and anger out at the World! ( HOW ABOUT HAVING YOUR BONES BROKEN AND HEAD STAMPED ON AND THEN NOT FEELING ANGRY....AND PERSONALLY I WOULD FAR RATHER HE WROTE DOWN WHAT HE FELT, THAN DIDN'T. ) His sexist remarks about woman and dishwashers, and his anger in his diaries...( HOW ABOUT GETTING A SENSE OF HUMOUR.....THIS IS A JOKE...? ) He really has to let go of all this bitterness, His Father is winning if he goes on with this cycle. Tell him to live his life for him and you and your daughter. ( HE DOES, THIS IS WHY I AM HAPPY ) For such a peaceful, loving person as yourself ( DO YOU MEAN A MANIC DEPRESSIVE WITH SUICIDAL TENDENCIES AND A BAD TEMPER...? ) , his resentment must be encroaching on your aura ( MY AURA IS JUST PEACHY, I DON'T THINK I AM DELUSIONAL, I THINK DESPITE MY BEING A HEADCASE, I AM A PRETTY LUCID NUTTER). Please don't feel I am putting him down in any-way, we love our men for themselves, but it must be Hell watching this man suffer this way ( NO, HIS DIARY IS HIS OUTLET, I AM LOVED, I AM CARED FOR AND AFTER TOO MANY MEN IN MY LIFE TO COUNT IN THE PAST I HAVE FOUND MY SOUL MATE ). I can recommened someone who does EFT in your area, it helps with Emotional Blockages resulted by abuse or phobia's etc . I know you will not take this as a personal attack on yourself or your man ( HE DIDN'T, I DO ! ), I just know what that cycle of hate and anger can do to people in the long run. I see it in my brother now and his family are suffering for it. Love and Light xx

PS I CAN'T LOAD A DISHWASHER AND BROKE OUR $1000 ONE BEYOND REPAIR, SO HE DOES HAVE HIS FOOT IN TRUTH )

PS Check his site for his comments !

FRACTURED SITE OF THE DAY

http://web.mac.com/ifan23/iWeb

He's honest and that's why I love him. He also put a fridge full of pop in our office....

" The Essence of Mind is Formless "

I have had a big weekend so far, and am partied out, with still one more to go. I want to write about it properly, but am too tired right now, so will wait until time permits.

Just want to say in the meantime " HAPPY 50TH ANNIVERSARY MUM AND DAD, YOU ARE TRULY UNIQUE ".

After the wind and rain last night, I wonder how many petals fell !

It's funny. We have had signs up all week about the imminent closure of the pool and many have wished us well. We gave our three months notice to vacate and were met with an e-mail by the owners, stating that we must leave within 5 days... which suits us perfectly. Anyway, as I was saying, many have wished us well. However there are a few who are acting like we have killed their first born, as if the Roman Empire has indeed fallen, as if Hitler the Second is up to his mass genocide again.

I don't understand this. Is the pool so important to these people that they simply can't cope without it ? I feel very sorry for them that they can even be bothered. I know we kept it ultra clean, warm and well stocked, but life moves on...and I for one, Ifan for two and our family life for three are totally overjoyed. Two nights to go...and counting. I guess many don't like change, but change is as inevitable as death and taxes.

On another note, I had my first full day at the Childcare Centre today, most enjoyable, but ho, am I tired. Too much time off work has made me a bit of a slugabed !

Hey-ho, more later xx

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We are almost FREE !

As of this next Sunday, we are FREE of the pool ! Yippee !

Become aware of the silent infinite

I don't know if ebooks sell. I have looked at some of the Powersellers on Ebay who sell ebooks and they seem so " telemall shopping " and untrustworthy, simply using bright colours and a plethora of bells and whistles that I feel like I am seeing something very fake.

However, I have begun to write my own ebooks, and am going to have a go at selling them. They are all on spiritual or health topics, and are topics dear to me, that I would like to share, for a low price. I did list my " how to make a smudge stick " recipe and it has sold, quite prolifically ! So will endeavour to do more. I feel I have a lot of great, accessible information to share, that doesn't require pages and pages of searching for, via a search engine, so wish me luck. I am going to work on manifesting this wish as a reality. I know that I can and will do it. More later all,

SEV x

The white turtle lives out its life, naturally.

I went to a six year old's birthday party today and it was fun. What I liked best of all was that all the children there all looked happy, healthy, and bubbly. They all played well together and I just loved seeing such a great bunch of delightful young people playing together. Being a parent is such an awesome responsibility, and the best thing I have ever done. I still had to have my slightly yelling voice on tonight though as my child ( yes one of the aforementioned lovely ones ) decided to be a little challenging come bedtime. I do not like yelling and I endeavour not to yell, but sometimes enough is enough and I get fed up...it works..but I feel like a beast afterwards...so it does get saved for rare occasions.

I got a lovely SMS today from one of my favourite people, and it cheered me no end. She was empathetic and sweet and I was so pleased to hear from her. She is pregnant right now and I know she will be like the best mother, ever !

So I am sat here, my girl in bed, my boy in bed ( jetlag ) and I am eating leftover pizza and about to watch comfort DVDs.

Life is good....got a new dishwasher today and tomorrow I take my lovely boy out for dinner for his 44th birthday.

Nighty night !

PS:- Duncan...I love you new room ! Rockin'

First of all...thank you

Dear All, thank you so much for all your condolences. I am still teary when I talk about Fisher ( our dog ) and burst into tears today in Banjo's, but the ache is duller than it was...just can't get her eyes out of my mind though. It helps to know others give a sh**, I knew you all would though xxxx

Have made a decision that the cottage we bought as a rental a few months ago is going to be used as sort of " comfy offices " for us. My dear boy needs a photography studio, I need a reiki home and we both need a room for all the stuff we sell on Ebay. I am very pleased that on Monday we will be moving the stuff we have in our house that is too nice to get rid of, but superfluous to our needs, into the cottage.

We need to think of a name for the place now.

I got my dear boy home today, he made it two days early, and the first thing he did was break his toe, the reiki helped, but it is bright purple and bulbous ! Poor poodle.

Love the full moon, feeling the magic in the air. First day of winter and sure enough there was thick ice on my car this morning.

Got a new book this morning from amazon.com called " 1001 Pearls of Buddhist Wisdom ". I love it ! I wonder if it is possible to be a Buddhist Wiccan or a Wiccan Buddhist ? I love reading Buddhist koans, though I usually have to do it several times before I can get the gist of it. Either that, or it slips away before I can grasp it.

Tonight I will leave you with this thought ' Have few desires and be content, because desires produce dissatisfaction '.