" Now Upon A Time "

I used to think that talking about the weather was banal and ordinary as a subject to speak of. I haven't felt like that for a long time. I love to think about nature often, in my own quiet, personal way. I love to reflect upon the beauty I see so freely in front of me.

Talking about it dilutes it somehow, except when I talk to Ifan or Morgaine about it.

When I talk to Ifan about it, he often looks at it from a scientific, artistic and creative way. Often he pops a scientific fact in the conversation, such as " did you know the moon is getting farther away from earth each year, by 3 cm ? ". I didn't, but I sure am curious as to why !

When I speak to Morgaine about nature ( well actually, she is usually the one who brings it up with me ) she gazes beatifically at the shapes, textures, colours and patterns , and everything else that as adults, we tend to simply pass by. I can't take nature for granted, it's too mind-boggling.

Take for example, dear Diana, the moon. The night before last Ifan ran to take some photographs of her. Morgaine " oohed and aahed " at it, and I gazed, felt strangely insignificant, yet strangely connected. Pulled by some great primaeval force. The next morning, heavy and golden, perfect, I spent time talking to this amazing example of what is right with our planet.

The universe ran through me, I was full of amazing and all positive energies, and I felt whole. Elated and inspired, was I.

So much more inspiring than any shopping trip could ever be.

As I walked this morning, I noticed the ice covering all the leaves and branches delicately. Crisp and clean with definition. Pockets of fog and mist surrounded the hills. What could uplift a person more than this ?

" Listen To The Sound Of The Wind In The Trees When No Wind Stirs "

I am too tired to write about my thoughts tonight. Had a lot to say about the weather, but can't be bothered right now. A certain high school took all my energy and willingness to be verbose away from me, for a little while. I am off to re-boot with some zen-koans,

" Thoughts on a Sunday Morning "

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.

You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time.

You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.

You'll fight with your best friend.

You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.

You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

—Author unknown

" I Read The News Today Oh Boy "

I wrote to our local paper today, after visiting a young friend in hospital who has recently been in a car accident. She is going to be alright, once she heals. No thanks to these particular visitors. ( I think most readers already know what I think about them ).

I am disgusted, appalled and horrified.

Recently a young friend of mine had a serious car accident.

Admittedly it was her fault, a fact that she takes full responsibility for.I was this young girl's teacher, I know the kind of person she is, and I know she has not taken this incident lightly.

She was badly hurt and consequently hospitalised.

During the first few days of her hospitalisation, whilst this young lady lay there, broken and unnable to move, she had a visit. Enter the Tasmanian Police force, complete with hefty fine and news of demerit points to her hospital bedside.

Now call me human or something, but I don't think this sort of ' visit ' appropriate. At least give the young lady time to heal a little, this girl needs rest and a stess-less environment. Maybe send the fine through the mail, like all the others sent out. I thought policing was about positive relationships with the community, not kicking people when they are down.

Are your quotas so important ?

How about your human-quota, that could do with a bit of a kick-start !

Ho-hum...
.

" From The Harvester Of Hearts "

You are a Self-Discoverer

You're not religious, but you've created your own kind of spirituality. Introspective and thoughtful, you tend to look inward for the divine. You are distrusting of all forms of organized religion. You especially dislike religious gurus and leaders, who you feel are charlatans.

What's Your Religious Philosophy?

" Steel-eyed Vampires of Love "

Apparently I whistle in my sleep.

Wonder why I have just begun to do that ?

" The Old Angel May Allow Light From Above The Mountain "

Things change so quickly, it's so amazing.

Did a day of relief at a local school today and it was hinted very strongly that if I put in for a transfer there for next year, I would get it. Now, call me quirky, but having had to drive a long schlep for the past 15 years of my teaching life, driving only 7, to the school my baby will be attending, seems like a damn good idea to me. No late nights in the fog and damp, only a quick hop, skip and a jump to work.

Will be able to see how my Kindergarten child is progressing, without being too obvious, in a school teaching an area that I am most interested. Hmm let's hope.

Having our house valued tomorrow, wrote the blurb for it as I have not been very impressed with the ones I have read by agents recently, almost an underselling type air about them. Ifan will take the photos too.

All is well, I am impatient though.

Gotta go, my lips are dry !

" Time old time, takes everything "

We have househunted today, and after scanning the internet and organising nine places to see, the one we were least keen on from the description, was the one we put an offer on.

It was accepted.

It is 7 kilometres away from where we live, but a LOT bigger...here is the Real Estate blurb !

Situated on approx 20 picturesque acres, made up of good quality pasture, with balance of bush, all with excellent fencing and 3 dams, add to this a private 24sq timber home, built in 1993 comprising of 4 bedrooms all with built ins ,master with study, ensuite and walk-in robe, huge kitchen/dining with walk-in pantry, formal lounge/dining with cathedral ceilings, and family room for everyday living. To the rear of the house is a deck for entertaining complete with undercover spa, all set amongst well laid out established gardens complete with veggie patch, numerous fruit trees, chicken coup, dog run, workshop, 4 car garage and machinery shed. Sure to impress...

It did impress.

Now we'll have three months of stress, but hey....

" Well I'm back...what do you cry for ? "

I am back !

I had a great time !

I saw whales, dolphins, manatees and much much more.

I didn't shop stupidly, but I did buy 9 pairs of footwear...

I also arranged 9 house-sees in the general area Ifan and I wish to move to.

I am tired, but all is well. More later.

" I never had it, I never wanted it. I never had your beauty mark "

OK it's probably not going to make much sense to you dear reader as yet, but here are my first thoughts and key words to get me started with my autobiography. I am basically listing the keys here so I have a copy in case I lose my bits of scrap paper.

* Childhood * reading, Love Lane, Paul, Sarah Brightmore, big fish, little pond, granny and her husband, The Professionals and Annie.

* Adolescence * high school, boys, early sexual experiences, no interest in study, gothicism, religion, Mark, Germany, Sarah, spirituality, music, concerts, depressive suicidal tendencies.

* College UK * Grease, Australia, engaged, drinking, Pete, Nigel, late nights, Shakespeare and theatre trips to York.

* Australia * College, Sean, University, teaching, cheating, Craig, Jarno, Ian, Tim, John and Elliot, and the ubiquitous body issues.

* Family * Location, fatherly sayings, family history, catering, working from age 8.

* Adulthood * being married, houses, divorce, Ifan,America, Morgaine, Gravelly Beach, Spirituality, teaching, career.

There's lots more to add, but this was a quick five minute go at getting down the first things that came to mind. You will notice a series of names throughout. I am deciding which ones to leave out as not particularly vital to working on the " who I am " element of me. I have decided I sound like a tart, which doesn't actually bother me. I know I am not.

I didn't lose my virginity until I was 18, so you could hardly say I was an early starter...I just want to make sure, that when it comes to the relationship part of it all, that I include those who made an imprint, whether negative or positive is irrelevant.

Just off to pack, will see you all in a week.

Until then, I'm just a little bit heiress,

a little bit Irish

A little bit Tower of Pisa

Whenever I see ya

So please be kind if I'm a mess

" But in the stars and closer to home than in every planet "

In two days I will be heading north, and I am looking forward to being computer and Ebay free for a while. Emancipation of the slave to the keyboard ! Yippee !

Well have nearly survived my first two weeks as a relief teacher, and being able to leave so early every night has been quite a wonderful thing. My dear boy has been busy at home cutting wood, and mowing the lawns.

I love having him home, and was so proud of him going to yoga class tonight.

Have been walking the streets of Norwood each morning getting my daily exercise, and was dismayed to realise my ipod was out of charge this am. No Rufus to go there !

Am feeling fairly at peace with myself, feel like I am managing to get back on a level playing field, especially in relation to Ebay. I can't believe how much of my time it sucks up, and how I have time to read now.

I am boring right now, but felt like jabbering a little.

Good night.

" Wondering if there are clouds and stuff in hell "

I am going to write the book that is in me. I have nothing stopping me. I have a lot to write. It will not be spiritually based apart from where relevant, but an autobiography. I have plenty to say.

I don't write songs, I do not write poems anymore, only appreciate them, I sing, I dance, I often live my life in a music video, but one thing I can do is write.

Consider me " started ".

Now, where are those memo cards.....?

" I want you to make love to me, and only me in the dark "

Things I love and am grateful for...

My family

Being able to read

Owning lots of books and having a library near our home

The ability to save

Living in a lovely area, great environment, lovely house ( though one that may drown within 20 years )

Podcasts

Winter in Tasmania

Early morning walks, especially in winter when the ice is magical

The animals on our acreage

An imagination

Teeth with gaps in them, much easier to keep clean

Ability to write and earn through Ebay doing something I love

A chap that can cook like an angel

A bright, beautiful and intelligent child

A Macintosh computer

Dancing lessons

Pink light on the Tamar River from the sky

Mist on the hills on a morning, very Japanese

My DVD copy of " Little Women " that we watched last night

All is good in the world, when all is said and done

" Everything operates on the unattainables "

Studies done recently show that privately owned corporate TV stations are actively downplaying global warming as they have interests in other fossil fuels. Out of the 923 submitted papers by climatologists since 1961, not one denies that global warming or climate change is happening, however if you read the generally Murdochly owned press, these academic papers are conveniently poo poohed and dismissed.

I for one believe the academics !

" All Roads Lead To Home "

Every scientist I hear says that the sea level is going to rise 20 metres in the next 20 years, If this is the case, our house will be under water. Insurance companies are a disgrace, recent Australian flooding has demonstrated how unfortunate it can be for some people, how homes can be lost in hours. My heart goes out to them, especially when they are screwed by the insurance companies who take no responsibility.

John Howard doesn't seem to think global warming is an issue, George Bush told him it wasn't !!

The upshot is, that I want to move house, and live atop a hillside !

' I can feel it coming in the air tonight '

There are changes afoot. I can feel it. As the oceans rise, so do our expectations.

It's a three year turning point, there's houses to look at, mountains to climb.

I can feel change is on the way.

" Wake Up "

Global Warming is DEPRESSING me !

" Oooohh oooh oooh Jerusalem "

Things that I love at this very moment..

My People

Having my Ebay account on holiday and thus, no purchases to catch up with

Juicy oranges cut into quarters

Friday night and it is raining

Rufus lyrics

Poetry in bed

Winter scenes

Part one of Little Women that I am listening to on my ipod

One week to our trip to Queensland...

Nighty night !

" Why Can't I Sleep With My Eyes Open ? "

Mobile phones

The fight with mobile phones is a losing battle. Our rule is that phones should not be on in class time, or out either. I see them every few minutes, at which time I ask the owner to put it away. We are supposed to take them from the students if we see them out, but if we were to do this, we would have a physical fight and riot on our hands.

If I ruled the world, any student with a mobile phone would be given a warning to put it away and after that I would ask the parent/s to come and collect the phone at the school. This may seem harsh, but they ( the phones )simply disrupt learning.

The kids can have them out at breaks, so it is not like they are not allowed to have them. The fact that they get them out every two minutes in class is simply not necessary.

It's a simply pitiful habit that people have gotten into, the need to check the phone every few minutes. I am not a mobile phone fan, I make no secret of this, but I do not like how these instruments have become almost like an extra organ for some folks.

Students say " What if my mum is trying to get in touch with me for an emergency ? ". I respond that " We have a perfectly adequate telephone system at the school in the event of any emergency. If it's not an emergency then you can listen to your messages at recess or lunch ".

I do not like mobile phones, I never have, and though I own one for when I am driving and out with Morgaine, I very rarely have any charge in it, and if you do leave me a message, chances are I won't hear it until I actually remember to charge the thing.

That's just me :)

" My heart is a Singing Bird "

Why did I decide to become a relief teacher ?

All last year I felt like I was purely a crowd-controlling babysitter, and the guilt I felt, because I didn't feel like I was teaching anything beyond social grace education kind of got to me. So I decided to change the nature of what I was doing.

There are many plus points to being a relief teacher..

Great money.

I am out the door at 3pm.

I have no responsibility beyond immediate care and the passing on of fair, accurate info, in relation to behaviour.

No planning.

No parent meetings.

No after school meetings.

No late night PL. ( Prof Learning )

No reports.

Down sides include...

Until you are well known, work may be infrequent, or schools may not require relief. ( This will never happen at my school, it is big, and I am well known ).

Not much consistency with the classes you get, you get who you are given from day to day, although if one person is away for a while, you get a little more consistency with the same classes.

You don't know the students as well as if you have your own class ( sometimes a good thing, sometimes not ).

You have little say in the material you present.

You may have to teach in a weird area, such as metalwork ( which isn't weird per se, but is if you are say, an English teacher ).

No holiday or sick pay.

Sometimes treated as a second class teacher by the students.

Interesting thoughts about relief teaching...

Flexibility to work when you want to.

If you build up a relationship with one or two schools, you will never be out of work.You will also become integrated with everyone anyway.

Chance to do something else whenever you want to by not working that day.

If a class drives you mad, then chances are you won't have to see them again.

If you get a good class ( like Grade 10 English ) where they read privately for ages, you can make reflective lists like this.

Being a relief teacher is very immediate, so for example, you go to class, supervise, check room is tidy at the end of the lesson, and pass on any harder issues to others. Over....next...

Having worked at the school I relief teach at now for several years, I am familiar with many children, I know the drill...so it's working a-ok so far...

" Show Me Faith & Give Me Dust "

Left the building at 3.03 today, brilliant.

Very civilised.

Have been thinking up retorts to say to the hideous grade nine class today. They need to be factual, non-bitchy, yet a smidgen condescending.....I think I can do this.

For Example:- Yesterday when the boys crafted a paper penis out of scrap paper instead of actually doing anything worthwhile, I remarked that they obviously had very little in the way of real life inspiration to go on when creating such a thing ( it was small ). It was lost on them really, but they sort of knew I was referring to them, though couldn't work out how it might be insulting to them. I know it is childish of me, but i am not putting up with them, their horrible lack of manners, lack of work ethic and total disrespect of anyone other than themselves.

It's like working with toddlers, but they're not cute !

" The Monkess Who Sold Her Ferrari "

Ok so I never had a Ferrari, but I did have an Audi TT coupe, that we sold when we decided life was about downsizing and not being show-offs. But, ( I was always told never to begin a sentence with but, but I never took heed ) today, my first day of downsizing my work hours went well. Three out of four classes were lovely, I had a shite grade nine, so rude, so bolshy, and who I had to treat like imbeciles.

Them :- " Hey you, teacher, what's your name ? Hey, I'm talking to you lady...."

Me :- " Young man, I suppose you are are referring to me, did you say something ? ". ( I also put on a slightly confused face and posh voice which really confused them )

Them:- " ugggg ".

Me:- " As I say to my three year old, manners cost nothing. "

Result...not a lot of hassle from them afterwards.

'' Diana, lighteth the way..."

So the moon in her beauty was brightly awake when I rose this morning, it is now 7.10 am and still dark. I shall leave to begin a life and job of lower responsibility. I do not feel nervous, just want to get in and do it. Though two weeks from now, my family and myself will be in sunny Queensland for a little whale and dolphin watching...sounds like a plan.

Let's see, can I make it as a relief teacher.... ? More later.

Have a great day x