The season of butterflies in the stomach

I love Autumn. It is my favourite season. It gives me butterflies in my stomach for some reason, I find it so exciting. I love waking up early, and standing in the kitchen, or going outside to our rocking chair and enjoying the silence. What I love is that the days are crisp, sun tends to shine mainly, but the tang of coolness is there.

Everything seems brighter, I have more clarity, both visually and mentally too.

The silence at the farm is different in Autumn, and I get very excited by it.

Hot drinks taste better, herbs smell sharper, everything. I was born at the start of Autumn ( In England ) and I feel it has been part of the life blood I have within me ever since. Of course the seasons are opposite here, but this makes no change to the connection I have.

More later, my " Lotus Peak " white tea calls to me.

Vivid dreams lately too, they are signs for me to take notice of.

Hello Duncan, dear brother, I am back at last !

Time stood still

My mum goes to church, and her church had their annual fair today. We went to help yesterday, help them set up the junk stall and today we went to support her and my dad, who also gets roped in to helping out. We were sat in the little room where morning tea is served and it is shrine to the past, with photos of people in sports teams from the 40s, 50s and 60s. The room is very quaint and I got a real sense of being in a time warp. I looked at my child enjoying a glass of milk and my beloved and I eating our cakes made by local old ladies and got a real connection to the importance of community. My loved one looked over at me and said exactly the same thing as I was thinking.

You know I love my computer and my ipod and I wouldn't be without a skinny latte every day, but when all is said and done, there's nothing more important than people, a sense of belonging and support for one another is there ?

People and occasions make darn good memories, I don't think, when I am on my death bed, that I will say " ooh I wish I had spent more time on my Mac ". I am sure I will be more likely to think about the times I spent with real breathing and well loved human energies !

I'm Back !!!

I have had a challenging two weeks with my spiritual work. For some reason, Telstra cut me off and I have had no home internet for two weeks. I have in the meantime told them to go and take a walk, and am now with netspace who seem a whole lot more friendly, cheaper and you can call people by their name and get through to them. I can also understand what they are saying to me. It appears that Telstra have no idea what they are doing. I rang seven times was on hold for as many hours and each person I spoke to told me something different, so in the end I just said I wanted no more to do with them. I even turned on the tears, but the hard nosed female I spoke to put the phone down on me...no I wasn't rude either ! Anyway am back, thanks to all the loyal readers I hope I can keep your interest up.

I can't sleep !

...but the ironing is done !

I also can't upload images right now either..

White Tea

I have to admit I was taken in by packaging today. When I was at the supermarket, I was browsing, with great interest, the tea aisle. I happened upon a box of tea called " Lotus Peak" and I just loved how zen both the box and name was, I had to have it.

Furthermore, when I drank it tonight, it did not disappoint. I have a thing about the delicacy of tea...the whole tea ceremony and lovely varieties ( I am not a Tetley or Typhoo type at all, gimme the whole Japanese thing ). Say what you like, the Japanese have style !

So busy..

I have been a pitiful blogger these last couple of days, but I have been an even worse ironer. I am so busy with my spiritual work, that I am literally working every spare minute- AND LOVING IT !

However tomorrow I am going to do the ironing, our poor baby hasn't seen her cargo pants and hippy cheesecloth dress for weeks !

I am thinking of you my little " HitlerOgden ", we love you so much xx

I am mad about this one too.....

lyrics - Sheryl Crow Lyrics

Of course NOT SURPRISINGLY...one of my favourite films is " Cars "

What I am listening to this morning..

The Green Fields Of France Lyrics

Oh how do you do, young Willie McBride?
Do you mind if I sit here down by your graveside,
And rest for a while in the warm summer sun?
I've been walking all day, and I'm nearly done.
And I see by your gravestone you were only nineteen
When you joined the great fallen in Nineteen-Sixteen.
Well I hoped you died quick, and I hoped you died clean,
Or Willie McBride, was it slow and obscene?

Did they beat the drums slowly,
Did they play the fife lowly,
Did they sound the death march as they lowered you down?
Did the band play the last post in chorus,
Did the pipes play the flowers of the forest?

And Did you leave a wife or a sweetheart behind?
In some loyal heart, is your memory enshrined?
And though you died back in Nineteen-Sixteen,
To that loyal heart you're forever nineteen,
Or are you a stranger without even a name,
Forever enshrined behind some old glass pane,
In an old photograph torn and tattered and stained,
And fading to yellow in a brown leather frame

Did they beat the drums slowly,
Did they play the fife lowly,
Did they sound the death march as they lowered you down?
Did the band play the last post in chorus,
Did the pipes play the flowers of the forest?

The sun's shining down on these green fields of France,
The warm wind blows gently and the red poppies dance.
The trenches have vanished long under the plow,
No gas, no barbed wire; no guns firing now!
But here in this graveyard, that's still no mans land,
The countless white crosses in mute witness stand,
To a man's blind indifference to his fellow man,
And a whole generation were butchered and damned

Did they beat the drums slowly,
Did they play the fife lowly,
Did they sound the death march as they lowered you down?
Did the band play the last post and chorus,
Did the pipes play the flowers of the forest?

And I can't help but wonder oh Willie McBride,
Do all those that lie here know why they died,
Did you really believe them when they told you the cause,
Did you really believe that this war would end wars?
Well the suffring', the sorrow, the glory, the shame,
The killing and dying it was all done in vain.
Oh Willie McBride, it all happened again,
And again and again and again and again!

Did they beat the drums slowly,
Did they play the fife lowly,
Did they sound the death march as they lowered you down?
Did the band play the last post in chorus,
Did the pipes play the flowers of the forest?

Ho Hum...

Many readers who have been checking in for a while will know about the business my chap and I have been involved in for the last eight months. Well we have been trying to buy it in that time, but somehow the universe wasn't having it with us. The owners had tenants that trashed the house ( not us, the house belonging to the business was being rented ) and so they had to get them out, and then after several badly and inappropriately written contracts from their lawyers, the vendors issued us with a half million dollar ultimatum on Friday, that is sign this contract or the business is going back on the market.

Our lawyer advised us NOT to sign as a) the contract erred on the side of the vendors in that they had changed amounts relating to the cost of the machinery so that they had to pay less GST but we were unnable to claim any depreciation.

b)That even though one of the pieces of machinery had never worked since we had worked there, they would not lower the price even though cost of reparation would be $10,000 ( and the contract stated all items of the plant HAD to be working ), and worst of all, that we had to have the $500 000 in their bank account within 5 working days, otherwise any deposit would be forfeited and the business would go back on the market. Our lawyer also pointed out that clauses kept disappearing and reappearing in the various contracts, without rhyme or reason ! Thank goddess we didn't pay the deposit, as we were just about to that day.

I think they were trying to bluff us for a quick sale, but the bluff was on them as we decided we were beastly careless anyway now. If buying something becomes painful and vicious, then there's a message there.

Well readers they shot themselves in both feet didn't they ? I mean honestly, have you ever heard of a bank getting finance organised with all the paperwork and into someone else's account within 5 days ? Any contract I have ever signed before has given a time span of 30 days, and this is appropriate. We thought too we were paying for a business that actually came intact, not with ten grand of repairs before we even take over....you know what though ? I am so relieved.

In theory this was a little self running business, but may I say in reality this could not be further from the truth. I feel like we can get our lives back now, doing what we wanted to do. Perhaps the phone will stop ringing up to 50 times a day too !

The other thing is that the unit we bought last week has had so little hassle concerning the purchase that this just magnified how ridiculous the other purchase was. We didn't even receive a contract for this business until last Friday, which was when they said " get the money in the next week in our account or else ". It seems so silly, they have lost us as their buyers ( might I add the third lot of buyers who have refused to sign ) and I think they ought to get themselves a new lawyer.

Anyway, we get our lives back, yippee ! I thank the universe for stepping in !

I am simply incredulous

Was ich kann und was Ich konnte, weis ich gar nicht mehr "

Pitiful German but anyway.... more later

Diana in her glory !

I find the full moon a bit like christmas.

Tonight as I was putting out the rubbish for the bin men in the morning, I was looking at the great Diana, all large and golden and 82% and I was thinking how waiting for the full moon is like christmas for me.

You know, you look forward to it, so much, like you do with the festive season, but in moon terms you watch it build from a fingernail to a quietly burning orange orb and then within hours, she is diminishing again and we wait for the cyclical return of the next full moon. I do like a full moon, I feel complete, and whilst I often feel drained too, I feel better eating habits and more raw food would help that.

I love thinking and celebating the wheel of life, the year and everything else that is cyclical, it is so logical, yet so unfathomable.

Pirate Ships Ahoy !

I have just been on my evening stroll and saw " The Endeavour " sail by down the Tamar. I was breathstolen, it was so romantic. I felt like I was in another time, until a Commodore, came hooning up the road, damn those bogan cars.

The pine trees smelled gorgeous as I walked past them and I was being all dreamy and observant tonight as I walked.

Our daughter is into thinking of groovy names for her toys at the moment, her latest is " hootytootickets" for one of her tiny bears, I laugh so much at her sometimes ! She is quite the wordsmith !

Another perfect list

I was walking in the semi-darkness tonight and absolutely drooling over the bright orange moon in the sky and it occurred to me that it might be time for a list.

The things that make my heart melt !

A big golden moon

Smell of rain on grass, pavements, anything really

Waves crashing whilst laying in bed

Owls hooting

Macademia nut ice cream

My three year old reading to me

A really good comedy like Men Behaving Badly, Birds of a Feather, As Time Goes By, Dead Ringers

Smell of camphor and Lavender...and so much more....but one thing occurred to me as I made my list and that is that none of the obsessive self-destructive behaviours I sometimes do to excess even made it near to this list....so things like

Overeating

Staying up late

Buying way way too many clothes

Biting my nails

none of them are on the list and I do them often, yet I don't like them....hmmm better rethink this a bit !

I should go to bed !

I am sat here watching lots of " Birds of a Feather " episodes, and I love them. Sad that they only ever put a few episodes out on video, I miss them. I have just eaten too many jelly snakes and chocolate and I feel coated in bleeuurgh !

I should go to bed, last night I went at 9.30 and had the best sleep in months, don't know why I am burning the midnight candle now.... I will feel like rubbish in the morning...

Ebay freak a lunatic fringe

I find it hilarious and pitiful when I get mean e-mails from people through Ebay. I am kicking myself that I deleted the one I got today, threatening me that the fairies would bring me bad luck if I continued to sell a certain spell that I have listed. The writer claimed reiki would be no help to me and that I had seriously pissed the fairies off, and they would in no way care for me anymore.

Blah Blah !

The funny thing is is that all the nature spirits I know aren't so judgmental as that and they wish to have people love and care for them...they aren't mutually exclusive to zero bidder Ebay buyers who like sending me mean messages.

I hope the writer of the e-mail is reading this because in my world, ALL NATURE SPIRITS ARE LOVING, GIVING AND LIKE SHARING OF THEMSELVES.

Perhaps I can piss the fairies off on my way to hell ! Why am I surrounded by narrow minded people keen to let me know I am destined to burn ? ( please see the POST labelled FIRE AND BRIMSTONE )

Olfactory

Have just cleaned all the wood in the house with orange oil and it smells gorgeous. I am also burning " sensual " oil in the burner, it's orange, patchouli and lavender. You simply can't get rid of my inner goth even after all these years xx

It fell from the sky and hit us...

Well that's actually a fib....but it kind of happened quickly. Yesterday we were driving along and saw a unit for sale in our village, and now 24 hours later we have bought it as an investment property, along with the other house and business...I think we should stop now...I have no wish to become the village squiress and whip my subjects !

Sev's cool list of the day

I am so hot, that my head is sweating.....so to cool me down I am going to compile my " cool list ".

1. Ricky Gervais

2. Bruised clouds

3. Shape spotting in the clouds...

4. Michael Neill podcasts

5. Tiny frogs in my water barrel

6. The band Back Street Crawler and the best album ever 2nd Street

7. Coffee and bacon at Cafe Exeter

8. Family...especially the nudie three year old who has been so hot today that she had to sleep with no nighty on

9. Lovely artwork in the house that has just been hung ( a sheep, Ned Kelly and a farm with a windmill )

10. Jelly beans.

Two for one

My parents have a horse that they are agisting for friends, and yesterday I kind of lost my mind for a moment.

I arrived at my mum and dad's to pick my mum and my aunty up for a day of op-shopping and before I went in the house I went over to see Bill, the horse, he' s seventeen.

I love horses !

I looked right into his eyes, and he looked right back at me and I felt my stomach flip, for that moment there was no-one else in the world except for Bill and I, and I felt that he'd let me see right into his soul. Truly.

It only lasted a split time, but his dark eyes were just so...................so much of an old soul.

I gave him an apple afterwards, but that otherworldy feeling stayed with me all day.

Welcome back, you know the rest xxxxx

Fire & Brimstone

Yesterday I had the misfortune to be cornered by a religious zealot. Now please don't get me wrong, I don't care what religion anyone is, it is none of my business, and it is a totally subjective thing. However, after five minutes this man told me I was going to go to hell because I do not believe in god.

He also said, that anyone who believes in god will go to heaven, everyone else will go to hell.

So I said, " so you're telling me that Hitler, or Stalin or a rapist mugger murderer beast would go to heaven if they believed in god ?'

He said " yes ". So I replied thus " So someone like me, who has told a lie, has looked lasciviously at someone else's partner, and says the word GOD often in the expletive, but who is generally a good person, will go to hell ? ". He said " yes ".

Then I asked about babies, who are too young to believe in anything...... he couldn't answer me.

I then said what about before the bible was written, and god wasn't well publicised, where did people go then ? He couldn't answer.

He said that carbon dating and dinosaurs were not ancient but quite young and put there by god to confuse non-christians, and that Stonehenge and the Pyramids were only a few hundred years old. OMG, he was a school teacher....mind you not a history one I grant you !

Confused is right, but I think this pertained to himself !

Then I said, "the only problem mate is that I don't believe in hell. It's your hell, your making, not mine, so you go burn in it !".

He said the bible was true. I said if that was the case then we were all in breds, as Adam and Eve had two sons Cain and Abel. Cain killed Abel, so to procreate Eve would have had to have sex with her son Cain......

It just went on an on. He wouldn't leave me alone, and he was a teacher. Now I don't care what religion anyone is, but why is it the only christians I ever meet are ones that try to convert me..... I will write more later....but I have to say, I don't live in a world the way he does. If god is so judgmental as to say that most decent people who don't believe in him have to go to hell, then that to me is high praise. I will not, nor ever be bribed into believing in something I don't believe in so that I can spend my life on a fluffy cloud eating marshmallows. Bring on the heat baby !